This mind-crippling self-loathe I am feeling at this moment. How? How am I supposed to put these intense emotions into mere words? I can’t find myself able to explain these. Look at me. Pathetically trying to express myself here. Trying to “feel better” while I feel even worse for wasting time over such silly things instead of doing some actual work. Lord, I hate myself so damned much. I can’t focus at this moment. I am wasting time here. I am so very fucked up, mentally. I am unloved. I am lonely. I can’t trust people. I am selfish and can’t think of good for others without putting myself first, I am exhausting to deal with.